I saw this on EOB and Army of the
C’est la vie.
If I were an NHL player:
- Team: The Blue Jackets, of course
- Position: Defense
- Nickname: Don’t really have a hockey-esque nickname. One of my friends called me T-Spizzy in college, so we’ll roll with that.
- On my line: Zdeno Chara. I’m not what you’d call a tall guy, so the contrast would be pretty amusing.
- Rounding out the power play: Sergei Fedorov is a must because of his all-around ability, then probably Anson Carter for his playmaking and timeliness, and Alex Ovechkin for style points
- Job: Sliding around the blue line on offense setting up the perfect assist.
- Signature move: Sudden rush to the net from the point when the opponent’s PK line is tangled up.
- Strengths: Speed, ability to slip in-between attackers to break up a play.
- Weaknesses: Weak slapshot from the point, pretty lightweight
- Injury problems: Nothing reoccurring, but more than likely a bunch of bumps and bruises from flying pucks
- Equipment: Standard issue helmet with clear plastic visor, extra long stick with a medium curve.
- Nemeses: Todd Bertuzzi (gotta watch my back), Sidney Crosby, Marcus Naslund, Keith Tkchuk.
- Scandal involvement: None. I’m pretty clean-cut. Definitely no ‘roids. I might back date some stock options a-la Steve Jobs, but hey, nobody gets two minutes or a suspension for that.
- Who I’d face in the
Cup Finals: Toronto Maple Leafs. Their tradition makes them a fierce opponent for any team. On the way to the cup, I’d love to go through Stanley Detroitthough… and have given the smackdown during the season. Nashville
- What I’d do with the
Cup after the victory: Eat ramen noodles and macaroni and cheese out of it. Then take it to the C.I. ( Stanley bar) and drink beer out of it all night while shooting pool. Athens
- What would be the media’s opinion of me: A solid player, though not an All-Star. Hard worker, student of the game, but not a trouble maker. Always up for sharing my opinions on-air and ready to make a public appearance.
Alright Yoder, your turn.